Broken heart

I never thought it would be this hurt to love someone, I used to laugh at other girls thinking how silly they're, being so miserable just for a guy, and now i'm doing the same thing. And the fact that i can't control my feeling made me more frustrated. But I don't regret what I do cause thanks to him I know the touch of a man, what if st happened and I die without knowing a man's warmth. That would be a big regret of my life. And for now I'm quite calm and I know I was back on my track, thanks God. If he doesn't contact me first then it'll be the end for all of this, and for me I will never on my knee again, I begged him and I put my shame aside and that won't ever happen again, he is too full of himself if he thinks I would ever do that again. He acts all  high and mighty but he is just a coward, nothing more. And I know where I made the mistake that is how eagerly I expressed my love for him, that's the same as I gave him the right to hurt me. He repeatedly said that I insulted him without considering my feeling and who is actually hurting who. I'm so disappointed about him.