Suffering? Maybe It’s Time To Get A Sense Of Humour

Why Can’t We Be More Light Hearted?

Ever notice how little things in our lives tend to escalate into big, unbearable monsters very easily?  Perhaps it’s the strain of everyday living, or perhaps it’s the fact that we all fail to see the big picture, and therefore become too absorbed in our problems.  But we forget that:

• Our problems do not define us.  This is why I don’t like going to shrinks.  They shrink you down into a neat label, box you up, and send you away.  I’ve read so many threads in forums of people who clearly take a morbid delight in the miseryof “being diagnosed with this” and “being diagnosed with that”.  Labels, categories and stereotypes provide a sense of control, a sense of fake understanding and authoritative finality.  People regain a certain amount of power and identity from them.  When I suffered from social anxiety, I found that my anxiety was worse when I believed that I had a disorder.  I started developing additional symptoms that I had never had before (like excessive blushing) simply because I had let my anxiety define me and become my own personal label.  I only overcame my social anxiety after dropping the “social anxiety disorder victim” label once and for all.
• Our problems aren’t the be-all and end-all.  People who tend to see life with a narrow perspective can fall into the trap of believing their problems are all-encompassing.  When someone feels hopeless and helpless, it’s because they have let their problems become the be-all and end-all, and entirely consume their lives.  Remember that your problems aren’t all there was, currently is, or will be.  You have a family, you have tastes, passions, different daily meanings, and you can experience some amount of joy and pleasure, even if it’s simply eating, or curling up underneath the covers.  Remember everything else in your life when you feel like all is lost.
• Our problems really aren’t that unique. Please honestly ask yourself this question: do you really think that you’re the only person on the face of the earth who got a kick in the balls from life?  People share your problems all around the word, and probably even in your neighbourhood,  as unlikely and unfathomable as that sounds.  I’ve felt empty and desolate enough times to understand how soul-destroying it feels to be the only one of your kind.  But it’s a lie our minds create, in my opinion, to comfort our egos and tell us that at least we’re special enough to be “different from the rest”.  I can’t deny that I felt some amount of excitement and self-importance when I considered being diagnosed with something like “paranoid personality disorder“, or even better –  being referred to as Marvin the Paranoid Android’s sister.