Tuesday 15 July 2014

reasons not to get married young

There are many good reasons not to get married too young. As little girls, some of us dream about every detail of what our wedding day is going to look like. However, that can lead us into rushing to the aisle too soon, so I'm here to share with you Reasons Not to Get Married Too Young...

1. TIME TO FIND YOURSELF...

Your early to mid twenties are a time for you to discover who you really are and where you see your future taking you. Take time for you; explore different hobbies, create your own business, and make a name for yourself. This is one of the surefire reasons not to get married too young; you don't want to start a family when you still need time to grow up yourself.

2. MORE CHANCES TO TRAVEL...

If you love traveling and finding new places, then this may be a reason not to get married too young. Getting marrieddoesn't mean that you won't travel, but when you buy a house, a bigger car, and start growing a family, traveling expenses get put on the back burner. Travel together as much as you can and see all there is to see before making the choice to say, 'I Do.'

3. LEARN HOW TO DEPEND ON YOURSELF...

It's nice to have that feeling that someone is there for you, but you don't want to take advantage of them. Be in control of your life; a reason not to get married too young is so you can learn how to depend on yourself. In the future you won't need to call up your spouse when the sink is leaking, when you need to hang a photo on the wall, or if there is a mouserunning wild through your house! Learn to be a Do It Yourself kind of woman.

4. BEING OKAY WITH BEING ALONE...

Are you someone who jumps into a relationship right after one has ended? If you hate being alone and just want someone to want you, well this is a very good reason not to get married too young. Along with learning how to depend on yourself, you need to learn how to stand on your own and be okay with being alone. A marriage isn't going to fix what's wrong inside, seek counseling if you need someone to talk to and listen.

5. STRONG CAREER WOMAN...

If you want to start your own business, are going to school to become a doctor, a lawyer, or something else that is going to take up a lot of your time, then you may not want to get married too young. You shouldn't put yourself or your spouse in a place of feeling guilty or feeling alone because you are working at the "office" late at night or on the weekends

6. YOU ENJOY LADIES' NIGHT...

This isn't to say that married women don't enjoy ladies' night, but sometimes young men get a little too jealous. So if you aren't into that whole, "You can't go out with your friends" jealous rage, this would probably be a reason not to get married too young.

You Have No Idea What You Want And You Will Have To Compromise (A Lot)

I don’t even know if I will be in the same place two months from now, let alone in two years. If you are married, you can’t just make life decisions on your own. It’s not all about you anymore. You won’t be able to move across the country without taking your better half into consideration. You can’t just be hungover for an entire week and not give a sh*t that someone now cares about you. Also, it’s probably time to forget about the mango farm!

Try Focusing On Your Career Or School

This time of your life should be spent building a life you will be proud of (or maybe just one that’s a hell of a ride) some day. Relationships are time-consuming as it is. Imagine planning a whole wedding and being married.
No thanks! If you are a women in your early or mid-twenties and are planning on getting married, quitting your job/school and just becoming a housewife, excuse me while I jump out of the window (I can see the middle fingers pointing at me). There is no reasonable explanation for any women to ever want that.
You can have a baby and be housewife after you’ve achieve something for yourself, which will provide you with the one thing no damn husband in the world will be able to give you: independence!
So, here’s my advice. If you fall in love, do it wisely. Do yourself and the world a favor and don’t get married — at least not yet. Start doing whatever you want, go wherever you want and stay for as long as you want. You will have the rest of your life to hopefully spend with someone you put on a pedestal.
If you think you have to prove to the world you are so in love by marrying young, ask yourself why on earth you need a piece of paper to be happy. Unless you are marrying a billionaire who’s stupid enough to not have you sign a pre-nup, there is absolutely no reason to get married so early! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOUR CAREER MIGHT TAKE YOU

An amazing career opportunity might come up across the country but…oh…you can’t leave now because you’re married and your partner works where you currently live. Now you can just stay at the level you’re at in your career and regret your partner forever

YOU MAKE YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS WHILE SINGLE

You know it’s true. Your favorite and most meaningful moments with your friends to this day are helping one another through breakups, drinking a bottle of vodka together to get over a boy, dancing until 6 am at a club and eating a giant pizza for breakfast that you both regret the next day but not really because you had a blast! But once you’re married, friendship is confined to “dinner dates” that last for 2 hours, and are way too sober.


YOU WON’T TRAVEL AS MUCH

You have to consider somebody else’s schedule when booking a trip, and when you both have full time jobs, this becomes impossible. You can’t just hop on a plane to visit a friend you haven’t seen in years whenever you feel like it. You can’t take a cruise you’re yearning to take until your husband gets enough vacation days.

YOU WON’T KNOW HOW TO BE ALONE

Those single years in your twenties are when you learn how to be alone. They’re when you learn how to bring yourself up out of a depression, and how to boost your own confidence when you’re having self-deprecating thoughts. But if you have someone else around to do all of that for you, you’ll never develop that muscle yourself. And you’ll just lose that muscle.

YOU WON’T GROW AS MUCH AS YOU COULD

Marriage sort of freezes your development. However much you’ve grown as a person, you’ll get stuck there when you marry. If you marry a little later in life, that’s fine! Because you know who you are and what you want! But if you marry too young, you might remain immature forever. You have to: that’s the person your partner married, so you don’t have much room to change now.

YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN A PARTNER

You really don’t know what’s out there until you know what’s out there. There are so many people in theworld with so many habits and characteristics and lifestyles that you can’t even imagineIf you marry young, you’ll find yourself thinking, “This person seems just right for me but…how do I really know?! Maybe a way better match is out there!”
Although you may think you have found the one, you should date different people and see what else may be out there. Years down the road, you may not remain so sure that the person you married was the best match in the world for you. Although it is not guaranteed that you will definitively make the right choice if you explore your options and spend time dating other people, you will still be somewhat more positive that the person you chose is right for you.

DIVORCE IS ONE OF THE WORST EXPERIENCES POSSIBLE

It really is. Some divorcees say they’d rather die than get divorced again. And young marriages have a much higher risk of divorce than marriages that take place later in life.

With marriage comes a lot of responsibilities and hard work. You should spend your time being young and carefree while you can.  Marriage can result in a plethora of bills, children and other responsibilities. Instead of having to deal with this at a young age, you could spend your time having fun with your friends and enjoy all of the aspects of being young. Later on you may feel locked down and with kids and other things in the picture you will have less opportunity to be young, crazy and carefree. It is important to remember that you only get one chance at youth whereas you have the rest of your life to get married.

 You don’t want to have regrets and wonder what if. If you tie yourself down to someone at an early age, later on in life you may begin to wonder what things would have been like if you wouldn’t have settled down so quickly. You also may begin to regret the fact that you did, especially when you see your friends and people around you having fun.  Regrets and what ifs can also cause a lot of drama and tension in a relationship if you or your partner begin to think that things might have gone better for you if had made a different choice. You definitely don’t want to end up feeling like you have settled.
3. You want to be financially stable. Granted, it is possible to be financially stable at a young age but for the most part, it is unlikely. Waiting until you get older allows you to have more time to save and situate yourself into a career.  If not, you will find yourself struggling to pay bills and survive which might consume you and cause your relationship to deteriorate

1. You are focused on your career.

And you are not going to apologize for it. Some people call this being a "bitch," because you are a lady and you have a job that you might be more focused on than smiling pretty and making sure you don't intimidate Mr. Right. Most of us just call this being alive in 2012 (you know the time the economy tanked and we had to work to eat).

2. You have standards.

You know you could have settled for Mr. "I just don't like your friends," or, "I just don't think women have ever done anything important," or, "so, about that Ron Paul," or even, "I only cheated on you once," but you realized you could do better. And frankly, being alone is just more manageable and makes you happier than being in a relationship that's the pits. So you didn't marry him, even though you probably could have

You have "issues."

And you fully realize this and want to deal with them before you get into a serious relationship. Instead of being irresponsible and shoveling them under a rug to save face and look like Mrs. Right, you are dealing with your shit and getting ready to be in a serious long-term relationship. That does not happen overnight and you shouldn't rush yourself because of some invented standard age by which you should be married
-Adventures. Think of all of the amazing places you could go, toys you could buy, cars you could drive, women you could make scream and diseases you could cure if you didn’t have the constant burdening distraction of marriage.
-You don’t need to get married young. In America’s permissive culture today, you can have all of the benefits of marriage without the metal ring holding you down.
-Financial stability is a must for marriage. A marriage is a commitment that requires tons of work and effort to make successful and money problems are listed as the biggest cause for divorce in America. People who get married when they are in debt (Justin) are just making it that much harder on themselves.
-No responsibility. When you aren’t married, you are your own man. You can do whatever you please. If you are married, your time and money and efforts will all go into your partner.

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